Sorry I loved you

When you made me love you
I was fooled
but the masquarade you played
with my heart
Like a child getting candy on Halloween
You stole my heart
from the corner of my eye;
seeing but not really believing

When I fell into your arms
and you made me a promise
Promise of happiness, joy, lust
Under a spell, I believed you
In my weakest moment
My heart fell to your feet

Suddenly like the shadows
I faded to your background
Taking the backseat at the cinema
While you took the front
I was alone
Still blinded by your words
I laughed like you were beside me
Hugged the pillow like it was you

I never wanted to be the doormat
So I tircked my heart
I was a sheep skin rug
That sat infront of the door
To greet you home
When I got dirty
No one washed me
No one picked me up

Every time I open my eyes
And the sun is shining bright
You lay next to me
Asleep as if we were happy
As if you loved me
As soon as you wake up
You ask for a kiss
Like nothing happened yesterday
Like I wasn't crying myself to sleep

We sit and talk
You don't say a word
While I pour my heart out
And you fiddle with your hair
Like I didn't exist
When I finish
You lite your cigg
And say "sorry"
Effortless like you didn't mean it
And you go on and say
'I love you'

What if I took all the words away
Would you still love me without saying it
I'm fading into the dark while you live in my light
I'm standing across the hall
but you dont see me
 You blame it all on me
the only thing I could ever say is
"I'm sorry that I loved you"

Lost.tongue tied

Walking with the shadows
They fade with the rising of the sun
They return as darkness fall
The shadows dwell on my mistakes
Mistakes, I can't take back
In no time, there will be none left
To look back on the broken pieces
My heart is bleeding from picking up the pieces
There is no end to the path 


Didn't want to break you down
So I destroyed myself;
for your mistakes
You could never hold me, gentle
You could only tear me apart
with my bare shoulders
I'll cry myself to smile
And I'll crawl to the nearest door


I can't stand no more
I lost myself with you
and I've been walking down
The dark allies, I can't find my soul
My smiles are just frowns upside down
They deceive you like you to me


I tried to bury the hurt
Realising, I've ran out of dirt
And my shovel is blunt
It just wouldn't dig any more
I'm in desperation for mercy
No one is picking up the calls
Don't have the strength to fight this war
Need to find my white flag 
I need to give up
There's just too many scars to carry
Too many times,
The wound has reopened
Once too many


Losing aim
Trying to keep my eyes clear
Trying to keep my heart open
Trying not to surrender
Armour, with no glory
Masks, with no expressions
My knees wont keep me up
Breathing heavy, struggling for life
Cuddled my knees while you bring me down
Your sticks and stones thrown my way


Turn around
I'm far behind and you forgot
Watching me fall out
You watch as I sink to the ground
You walk away from my last whisper
I will find the last bit of soul
To walk another direction
As my words spoken, unheard
My words turn to winds, ignored


Rise from the ashes and fight
With every last ounce of love
Anger unleashed to sustain
Hurt lingers to the  dust
Your ignorance left me
Walking in another path
Got lost a long the way
Before you know it,
It'll only be the sound of the wind
And my tongue stays tied.

unfortold

like painting walls with a strand of hair

like walking through the crashing waves

like the fear of falling and you dont know when it ends

like the sinking of a ship, unfound

like a missing piece to the puzzle, unsolved

like washing off stains that just appear invisble

like being a clown with only a smile

like walking in shadows but everyone sees

like holding your breath under water

like biting your fingers to numb the feeling

like the frozen ice, helpless

like the burning sun, yerning

like the hurricanes, chasing

like the clouds, uncertain

like falling stars, lost

like the universe, dark

like seconds, but eternity 

like laughters, but lies

like chattering, breatheless

like hope, faithless

like believe, bearing

like your touch,fearless

like your words, knives

like your movements, careless

like your heart, beating

like your love, empty

like emotions, out of reach
like footsteps, fading