to be continued..

...then suppose to meet kelvin but u know me...haha malaysian timing :P...so yeah bla bla bla eat eat eat...went bck to my place after dropping umar...with steph and elle...shower...chilling downstairs and elle DJing and steph playing sims...alot of people got addicted to that game...rach, elle and steph...god knows who else ahhaha...so then we were suppose to go dinner with some dude at souled out....nyeh i didnt go..met with rach and kelvin...then...hmmm maakaaaan salllaaaadd...i swear i was so blur tht night ahaha...(thanks kel for salad mmm)...then went Ou...yesh yesh watched Monster vs Alien...waaahhh BOB is mine!!! then hmm went back my place DVD usual... slept...USUAL! b4 i knew it...it was morning they left...but i still slept wahha..piggy i know.i slept till 5pm too tired...then went breakers with john and all..met with rach as well...so mean now john ajak me go breakers only to get free pull table...bweehhh! kidding :P...yesh yesh u'd say 'i miss u cannot is it?' fine fine suit yrself ahhaha...went swimming with my mum bro rach and kelvin...ahhaha mummy got drunk and had emo talk with me...but after that she went so wild..lol..i love my mum..shes my entertainment..although she did cut my allowance by THREE QUATERS!!! but fine understandable...after that went to play pool at bREAKEERSS and some foos....met fi and taufiq and some other ppl...there was this guy..haha he freaked me out..but john played pool with him..and i was wearing short skirt....accidently bent to low....embaressing!!!!wtv la...jobless ppl ntg better to stare at...pffttt...khaleeda msged me...shafs cousin...wants to meet up...saw GODENG! after so long hehe...teddy bear lol.(THIS IS WHERE THE EMO STARTS)...i know we were together for some time..and i got to know his family and all then got rlly close to his cousins and all...had family dinners and all...it was so fun and nice people....but yeahh since we broke up i had to say me and shafiq is over and well...the cousins said we'd just meet up then have a talk and catch up...i mean...i love his family they been great to me..but u know things happen...i wouldnt wanna go and join their dinner as well..it'll be awkward..i used to be so close to his parents..and he to mine...now the dad doesnt even call me or sms me anymore...neither mum...although i had some issues with the mum..shes been there for me..so it kinda sucks all tht went down to the drain...bryans back as well...its good..saw his car:S haa typical shafiq messy dirty car..haha..so yea..actually i been missing shaf so much...and deeply honestly...(no offence to anyone or im sorry if anything i say hurt anyone) but no matter who i go out with...laugh with...date or wtv...he'll always be on my mind...and in my heart....i dont care if anyone tells me he's this and that...maybe now he is...but the guy i used to be with was...well everything to me...all i can say is...he is a different person now..and im in love with the old him not this new...i dont know...what can i say...for those who has known him for long..u know what im talking about...no doubt...spoke to him that day...for directions to this place we used to go together all the time...haha...ampang shishaaaa...but well when he picked up...i was shocked...hmmm it felt like i havent spoken to him in ages..didnt recognise his voice....but it was good to hear his voice...seriously..ahah...but no harm done...although i love him and he's always on my mind...i still dont understand how we fell apart.... " we're perfect, you and him, together." well guys thanks...i agreee we WERE.things have changed though...well this guy im seeing sorta...well he's kinda sensitive..i dont know what to do about him..he's my bestfriend..but he kinda expects to much out of me, us and i just cant give him anything..not even love...as my heart is else where....now he wants to repeat the give up thing again...after what happend at BK...so fine with me...i mean...theres this dude with 'the cap'...he makes me laugh...we have fun...but i see him once awhile...so yeah...but he's great...we knew each other for sometime..haha still skinnny..cant do shit about tht lol...he's a little more understanding...and i dun feel pressured...he doesnt expect anything from me...claming he isnt a good bf and all...and he knows that i dont want anything he understands me and accepts it so yeah..thats great...cause right now..im just lost in shaf's eyes...and i need to get out..but honestly its gonna take some time..the other guy 'the clumsy one' ahha...well...i dont know...i think i might hurt him...and i dont want to...i hardly see him..so im safe for now..i dont have to be the bad person :( i feel rlly bad i hate this..im so sorry...seriously...but i cant help the way i feel for my x....as for this sensitive boy....we re two different people..and im not saying we cant get together...i just cant do tht to his x....and i cant do tht to our friendship and i cant do it to him...knowing i would hurt him...look at me..yes, im loud and wild but i do have my soft moments..but im just not into being nice or soft to any guy after what happend....cause i swear...i still shed a tear every once in a while...i just hope my x is happy...and well...hope he's gf is treating him well...sometimes...i wanna call...sms and just talk to him...but i dont think the gf would like it very much..so im backing off...wtv..everyone said i was stupid to talk to her or even bother with her...but hey no hard feelings...its wtv...i had my turn...so things got in the way...it was our relationship, our decision and our regrets...so she doesnt have to worry...im not plotting anything or what not...(if you're reading this)...it just sucks big time! missing some one...loving some one...and he might think i dont anymore...nope...im not done ahha...well..alot of drama...elle is in malacca..was suppose to go with her god knows what happend...then she got rlly high..told my friend to take care of her...mmm...yeah...was out with 'usher'..haa fun fun fun...lol...was slurrring and babling...but fine..still fun ahah...just got back its...6 am now..im so fucked i gotta wake up by 11am haha...oh well..im on holidays hhe...basicly...