a letter not sent.

31st may.
it's our anniversary...

Dear,
It's been 2 months and I know its pathetic that i still bother saying anything or thinking bout it. To tell you the truth, I never regret a single second with you, good and bad times.Why? Well cause I always knew we'd be okay. But this time was different. What happened, I still linger to know. I know I was not the best girlfriend, I know I was always getting upset. But hey, look at the reason why. I mean I didn't expect this and you should know that. You seem to view my profile, heard you checked up on me. I don't understand. But I always wanted to say this, I always felt not good enough for you, then I always tried to be better, some how always back fires on me. I'm sorry. I truly am. I never meant to hurt you, and I know you didnt to. I hope one day we could at least be friends. Cause I miss you, not just as my boyfriend, but as someone i could lean on and talk to...you always understood me...you cared for me and everything..you stayed with me in the hospital for a months plus and you believed in us. I hope you're doing well in college and having good health. You know I still care and check up on you. I don't even think about the bad stuff anymore. Seeing you happy is all I want right now. But I do want to know. Was this worth letting us go? When we had everything in our hands? I mean...you were close to my family and I was to yours and your dad and everything...like u and my mum..so I feel really sad. I mean plans to live in aussie together...suddenly everything changed..but I just wanted to say, thank you for everything, caring, loving and never giving up on us(but i dont know what happened recently, I always thought we'd make it.) And I'm ever so sorry for my wrongs. I never felt this before. This paranoid feeling, this empty missing piece nor the urge to care if my boyfriends cheating on me...knowing I'm probably doing it...like i did before and got with you, but with you it was different, I really was into u. Like never before. I never cared or bothered before you, I would just cheat and lie and play around, but with you it was real but i guess i just wasn't ready for it. I know I'm the most complex and complicating girl you'll face, I'm sorry :( but i enjoyed every moment with you. I've heard so many things about you now, I don't really know what become of you. The way people say it, sounds like a different person. Nothing like you, but if you think its good for you then I'll support you all the way like I promised. You should know, my heart secretly calls your name and iloveyou.

-the girl who always ate your burgers and fries.(Yeap, still got that recording. =p)