Somehow, I been pretty okay since the last time I blogged. Although I played my old playlist and there was hell alot of emo songs, I just seem to fall into the mood, but not go mellow dramatic on it and start thinking of stupid things and flip my world upside down. It's a pretty good feeling to just lay there, sprawled across the bed, looking out the window and it's a nice day and just thinking back at everything, how much the bitterness is only at its peak. Gah! What the hell, no one promised anyone a rose garden or a bed of roses anyway. Although so, I been rather jumpy and hyper alot at times, one of the days was cause of the overly pyscotic way I ate chocolate, but the other days was something real, so yeah, maybe, maybe not that I'm slowly learning to let go, knowing I was pretending and mezmerizing on something that didn't even exist to begin with. I think I'm falling for someone though, and well, it's a nice feeling since the last incident didn't turn out quite satisfying. Knowing so, he is like a walking turnado, sweeps you off your feet and completely misjudge, the last thing I expected from him, but then again, now I'm hanging by the moment, is it me or is it real? The things I'm hearing, is making me think, but putting me in a sticky situation, it's hard to comprehend or mould anything out of it, there's always this crazy battle between my heart and my mind, gah! They sure make things complicated. I don't know what to feel but all I know is, I haven't felt like this is a long time, okay fine not that long, but it's been sometime and well, I like it. Hmm alot of doubts and complications, and I'm thinking too much again. Yes, very me to go to deep and start assuming things hoping for the worst all the time, but I guess when the worst comes it doesn't feel so bad since there was no hope to break or anything for a fact. It's been crazy, got my license and getting my car later in the morning. Been driving quite abit but the thrill of it just swept away when I got the legalism to do so. Hmmm no more fun but it's better now except that I have been an exceptional driver for the family. Dad going off overseas as usual, and mommy just growing older and grumpy and slightly more pms-y. Menopause coming, I'm screwed and the two devils seem to be growing up too, thinking about it, time passes by so fast and there's just not enough hours to do the million and one things I want to do. Everything seems slightly steady now, all I'm stressing on is my studies and future, a little here and there on family and friends, but those are merely a dust in my life since everyone isn't perfect, loving them the way they are is all I can do but I do get my irritations and moodiness on regular basis. Love is a beautiful thing, it is, I'm just wondering if I can open my heart and just fall for someone again, I mean I am at the moment falling for someone but I'm afraid of the consiquences of emotions and the mess it causes in time. Maybe I'm being pessimistic but based on the last relationship I had, not to say I have any regrets but how it cuts is pretty scary, but I already am into someone, I wouldn't say love, but it's all blooming into something I hope I predicted wrong, drama. Although so, I am still going with the flow and this guy somehow, I feel comfortable around and just plain me. Reminding myself though, I am still going with the flow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgNjn9V_IKw
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