you.

Sometimes when I'm sitting somewhere quiet and i look up at the skies and i remember how we used to sit by the beach and was so shy leaning on each other and it was like the world never existed it was you and me. Yes, maybe I screwed and I broke your heart, you were so patient. I guess one day you got fedup and I had taken you forgranted, then you left and I laughed, stupidly thinking you'd never walk out the door, cause I remember you promised me 'till death do us part', I remember you said 'forever, baby girl' but I guess I never knew I would be able to push you so far away. I carried on pretending I never knew you, when I saw you I would run and hide my face because I didn't want you to see that I made a mistake. My ego was so big, I never admitted that I was crazy in love with you. After some time, you never crossed my path and I realized how I adored you. I just got my heart broken that day, the same thing i did to you, occured to me. I saw you walking by, you looked my way and called out my name, I was over joyed then u hugged me so tight, and you asked me what happened. I didn't want to tell you my heart was broken, I didn't let myself go, so I lied to you and told you I broke someone's heart but the news already got to you that someone had broken my heart, it was someone I left you for. You knew I lied but played along, the next thing I knew you and me, we were exchanging harsh words and ...




The only news I ever got from your family was, ' we found a tattoo on his body with your name on it'...only a week later I found out you met into a bad accident and god had taken you back. Till today the tears still fall secretly when no ones looking. I miss you so much, every breathe I take I can't live with it. I feel like its all my fault. Till the day my heart stops being, I love you.











Love struck us like lighting



we were perfect



we were everything together



the sun always shined on our worst days



we had a picnic on the moon



nothing ever mattered



when it came to you and me



like the strongest wave no one could break



your eyes were shimmering like cystals



as corny as it sounds



your hair was sprinkled with diamonds



and you really looked like a fairy tale



but a a wind came



it blew away all the beauty



and only left a mess



nothing but



broken glass and shattered hearts



i found we could be...



nothing.



as we tried to pick up the pieces



we exchanged chaos



and you left with you pieces



me with mine



i managed to clean the glasses



but my hands were bleeding with cuts



years had passed



the wounds had healed



leaving scars



more time had passed



and I..



just realised I left the biggest glass



in my heart.



Now im dealing with the pain



it's just in too deep

The trip to penang

With baggy eyes, ciggarettes and the people dear to me!
It was fun we had lots of great food, shopping and quality time.
Azuri's family was really inviting and friendly to me, made my stay feel great.
We went to Queens Bay to do some light shopping and have the best cendol around.
We also managed to stop by at Gurney Drive for some great hawker food.
The best part of it was going to the beach where we caught horse shoe crab!
No joke and we even caught a stingray which actually had a baby in its body and released it when it was caught.We set it free and watch this tiny young thing begin its lifetime journey. Heck enough talking lets see some pictures!

 My two loved bodoh's

Truly Asia LIVE shoot

25/9/2010
Welcome back!
On the sunday morning, we reached the meeting area at 8. Myself and Azuri and some other crew took off to Sabak Bernam about 45 minutes drive from Kuala Kangsar! The view and the sky, was phenomenal! The air was fresh and it look like a beautiful countryside. There were plenty of padi fields, just harvested not too long ago. As soon as we got to the homestay Kampung Haji Dorani we got settled, dressed and had some refreshments. Surprising the wind was so great, it was still morning at the time. By afternoon the heat was crazy all the girls make-up had streamed down so we had to touch up before the shooting. We were accompanied by our very own Christian which was all dressed in Baju Melayu. The shoot took on for an hour which we had some rendand, ketupat and even dodol. It was an awesome shoot as we has to just be natural which was really great and fun to do. By the time we were done we hopped onto the van and....zzzz... the whole van fell asleep, except the driver of course. By the time I woke up we've already arrived! Hope to get more of this awesome travelling experiences. =) Below are some photos!

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liars

its breaking dawn soon
the only thing running through my head
well was you
but it didnt come out that well
you used to lie
i still believed you
then you messed yourself up
keeping it going
it messed me up
i cleaned the mess
but i dont think you understand what i mean
everytime i say it hurts
you precisely must do
i may have loved so many
but i didnt say it never hurt
especially when it came down to you
i loved the most
but i guess you just couldnt see it
now i stand facing a blank wall
yes, you lied again
with all the stupidest excuse
you ever thought of.
its done.

Had enough

Everyday saying the same thing, dealing with the same thing. Hell! It just gets so boring and I'm sick of it. It's like a splinter in your hand, so small part on your skin but yet so irritating and painful.

Yes, my everyday life is hell thanks to a small person which such small parts of my life. The little things they do without thinking, speaking to walking from just the sight of it. It clearly states on my face " Get Lost" and " Stop Bugging Me!". Unfortunately some idiots dont understand those terms. Yes, it is so killer. Despite seeing the person almost everyday of my life and just being a total ignorant as much as I can to it. The smartest thing to say " Sorry" never comes out but all the force of argument is brought forth. Ahh! Hello stupidity. God, I hate you. Everything I do I try to give you all the best but you just wont appreciate it, it days like these I regret knowing you. Jesus!

Weekend Get Away

The entrance of Avilion Port Dickson. Had shisha all night long and water sports like mad, was riding the jet ski with Ando and the other two monkeys Gee and Wai Keat. Patric sat in and enjoyed the view. Supprisingly the water at PD was clear this time around, I could see my feet. =D

We had fresh BBQ too.. Crab and prawns and our lucky catch fish=)

 

Our Chalet

 

Awesome Viw ey ;p

Awesome Weekend!!

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Crazy timeliness

To another anonymous rhythm, I think I feel my body crashing down, maybe I just cant take it anymore. There's just too little time to do so much and too much to handle all at once. College has been crazy since I left the studying to the very eleventh hour. My finals falls on the 12 of July and I'm only half way done with my notes. Never been the study type nor the early bird type but yeah been pushing alot to those stuff. This whole week has been judgling a social life, studies, boyfriend and my bestfriend whose going back next sunday. Regularly, she'll be back soon again, but it never fails to recall to me how things was before she left and how things actually is now in present time. Like two totally different style of living, this relates much to our old friends whom we use to spend so much time with, somehow life got in the way of everything. Sucks at times thinking of the friends we made and the ones we lost, we lives we shared and lost. Now days, works been coming in and its awesome. Just yesterday I had to do a commercial for a Korean Market with some Korean Supermodels that flew all the way here for a commercial shoot. It's called Maxytle, and will be featured in Korea. Was suppose to do another one today for the show KL Gangster but was way too tired.Didnt sleep for the past 24 hours. Today should be a little better, just finished studying and going for a karaoke session with friends later at Red box, Curve.

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• Helps you take charge of your well being by providing essential goodness for your body.
• Designed for easy absorption.
• A refreshing addition to a varied and well rounded diet, which is an important part of a balanced lifestyle.
• Freeze-dried açai preserves the value of the berry.

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Magazine shoot

It was crazy and awesome all at once. We had awesome make-up artist and wardrobe all ready. The terrible part, it was raining and sunny all at once. Our make-up was running cause of the rain and all the sweat but the pictures didn't turn out so bad after all. :) The pictures will be featuring a magazine called Gorgeous in the early August issue. Check it out. :D

Baby boy.

Baby, I see you in my dreams every night and you're always on my mind when I see something familiar we use to do together then I think back about how I neglected you, ignored you, argued and walked away from you. But somehow I'd always know we'd always be okay, you always sat on the left side of the bed in your room with your head in your hands. I'd call your name and you look up at me with those shimmering eyes and they're so blue and as I walk over to hug you from the back, you'd pull me over to sit on your lap, and end the fight with a kiss and just sleep in. But I took you forgranted, I wasn't faithful, I was just too blind to see how much you loved me. We were like a switch, on and off for the pass 3 years then suddenly when I finally knew I'd never find a man like you, I was already too late, I was already in a relationship with someone else, and you had given your heart away. I was so broken and regreted and now I knew how you felt.

So I couldn't face the shame and I turned my back on you. You begged me to stay by your arms but somehow I didn't, I couldn't. I felt too guilty. We didn't speak for months. But I always remembered, the vacations we had, the times we played around like kids, silly games, kissing in the sunset, sleeping in the back of your car by the beach. Nothing could compare to that, when it was you and me. One fine day, we met up, but the only thing we decided to do was argue about you cheating on me and me cheating on you. This time the argument was surreal, we knew there wasn't a turning back. For 3 years, I loved you but the words never came out of my mouth, maybe because you never said it too. We didn't make up this time as I saw you take off and before you left, you turned back and I saw those eyes I love to stare in at night, in so much pain and I know how much of a man he was to not want to show me his tears, but this time he couldn't hold it in, I saw his tears roll down his cheek and he was gone in a split second. Then next thing I knew the phone rang, and you got yourself in a terrible accident, I couldn't breathe and I dropped to the ground. I prayed it was all just a dream when I hit conciousness, and until today I still don't believe you're gone, I keep thinking you're alive somewhere avoiding me so I'd never break your heart again,baby, I miss you so much. I never got the chance to say I love you, from the core of my heart. When I found out you tattooed my name in love's purpose on your arm, I couldn't forgive myself. You're gone, but I can't accept the fact. I love you and my heart will only give pure love to you, boo.No one will ever take my heart away from you. I love you, forever and always.

Cheers to your favourite drink, sweetheart. Loving you always.

Nothing clearer.

                      Life
begins when you know it's time to step up,

 create a sort of aura around yourself ; sort of like a safety zone.

              No one's going to walk out the door behind you anymore.

 All they could say was time to grow up and make a difference in the

 world, make a change, for you.

                          Then you'll walk out the door and prepare yourself,

 for the biggest quest of your life.

Then as you walk on broken glass
                         the next time you will always

                                          remember to put on your shoes. We take chances.

                                                                                          But we tend to forget vulnerability.

                                                                                                                             The form of being human.

The first and last step would

                            be the hardest but the process will be bitter sweet,

                depending on the choices,

you make and the opinions you take.

                    One path way,

                            diverging into two.

What would you do when your life goes bad,

                                    things go wrong,

                                       nothing goes according to plan

                                          you feel like giving up 

                                               breaking down.

                           Then just storming into the rain

                 to feel the cold water hit you to your knees,

          then just lie there and watch you life slip away.

Will you

        walk away, and leave it empty, speechless, lifeless?

Or would

         you take a breath and walk,

not away but to think, then realize before it is too late,

          to turn back as the wind blows across your face

   for you to see that every mess can be cleaned up.

          

     

                Take a seat, place a mirror infront of you. Close your eyes.

Take a breath, look at the reflection with your heart,

                   

                Look at yourself and be sure, you would be able

       To stand tall, or at least, crawl till you're strong enough,

                        To walk again, to dash across the waves of the ocean.

                Trust yourself and take the odds, cause you'll never know

                               It'll be too late.

                                                                       

Face the problem and take the circumstances,

      even if it blows you in your face

                       and you tears you apart.

Find an aspect of this wind

                   to make it flow the right way,

          to take it the right way and to bring out the beutiful,

part of you or someone you love and it may be,

      the greatest achievement of all,

seeing someone you love,

                     overjoyed with tears on their cheeks
                             laughter in their eyes.

So when it all comes down to giving a little

saving a little

and push a little

it doesn't take so much anymore.

The least we could do in living in the world

of black and white,

 is to put on a smile and forget

about the world cause by now

 you should already know

 what you critic and determine about you\

 life is yours to hold not anyone elses,

 in this evolving society,

to make ourselves happy,

and the ones we adore

 we should just smile.

                                                                                                       andreaalexis.<3