crush me, im all ears.

this will be the day, i cry like this after a long time. im falling for a guy, and we have the best time together and he makes me feel like everything's gonna be just fine and he makes me feel like how i never felt in a long time. a feeling i lost since my first love. he's every dose of love i need to forget this pain. moving on. but then it all crumbles down in front of me. my friends are telling me what a bad person he is, and saying what a horrible boyfriend he is. i dont want to believe them but the words they say, pierce my heart like a blade, reminding me how much it hurt when i got my heart broken with my x. then this little voice inside of me tells me how much it hurts and how much i shouldn't love him. shouldn't even try. then it makes me all want to give up but i dont want to let him go. people are giving me shocked expressions, why? what's wrong? i know you guys are trying to look out for me, but its killing me inside with the things you say. and no matter how much i wanna love him, my heart wont let me. no matter how much i wanna be with him, i just could never do that to her, she loves him and my x still loves me. the difference is he's over it, but im not so sure if im over my x. its all really confusing. it was so peaceful and perfect during the holidays. but school just ruined everything. i dont know what to do.